Cinema Snark: Thor

I love me some Norse mythology. It's full of sex, violence, trickery, cross-dressing, and horrifying (nearly) eternal torture involving snake venom and entrail-bondage. Oh, and everyone dies at the end. In terms of world mythology, it's roughly equivalent to Dr. Strangelove: wacky antics, more wacky antics, and oh hey it's doomsday.

The Marvel version of Asgard, however, places the characters in a more standard setting for superheroics, while still attempting to retain as many characters, locations, and artifacts from the original mythology as possible. As such, while Marvel's Asgard bears some striking similarities to the old legends, it has developed its own unique identity in modern popular culture. This is why it's completely asinine when white supremacist groups and neopagans get offended by the portrayal of the Norse pantheon: Marvel Asgard is not Norse Asgard. It's as simple as that. These characters were created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, who (in several cases, quite loosely) based them on mythological figures.

So yes, Heimdall is black. Who gives a shit? More specifically, Heimdall is Idris motherfucking Elba, and he's one of the best parts of the movie because he's an awesome actor. Hell, one of the Warriors Three is Asian, but nobody cares because A) the Warriors Three aren't based on anyone in Norse mythology, B) the Warriors Three are awesome, and C) Hogun the Grim is stern enough to be a samurai anyway. If you want to gripe about differences from the original tales, you could also whine that Sif is a warrior maiden with dark hair instead of being "correctly portrayed" as Thor's hot blonde wife who doesn't do anything except sit around and get kidnapped by frost giants because she's so fine, she's so fine she blows their minds HEY SIF (clap clap).

And hell, I'm sure that some Marvel fans were annoyed that love interest Jane Foster was changed from a hot nurse to a hot astrophysicist, because if there's one group of people that's easier to piss off than pagans and white supremacists, it's fanboys, the bottom-feeding bastards. You know, the kind of people who pollute internet message boards with their rabid opinions on how the newest superhero movie is going to be the WORST THING EVER because the filmmakers ignored some minor character that appeared once on the variant cover of Tales of the Fantastic #347. Give me a fucking break. A movie can be bad for any number of reasons, but if it has a fun/interesting plot, good dialogue, and likeable characters, then chances are that most people won't give a shit about petty details like that. As a further note, I'd like to point out that most fanboys aren't even happy with the source material itself, griping endlessly about Grant Morrison's characterization of Batman even as they're shelling out fifty bucks to get the newest issues of every comic that features Batman (or any member of the Bat-family) in any way.

Sweet zombie Jesus, GET A DAMN LIFE. Or, if you'd rather be unhappy all the time, try repeatedly bashing yourself in the face with a rock. It's a whole lot cheaper than comic books, and you'll have no one to criticize but yourself--with the possible exception of God, because he made the WORST ROCKS EVER. ("I don't see what the big deal is. I could totally make better rocks than that if I cared, but I don't care so I won't. Whatever. Pass me another hunk of granite; I'm getting some feeling back in my right eye socket.")

What was I talking about again?

Oh, right. The movie.

To put it bluntly, Thor is awesome. It has a great balance of action, humor, and emotion, and it plays out against several striking backdrops: the grand, bombastic Asgard, the dark, foreboding Jotunheim, and the expansive New Mexico desert. This varied scenery makes the film incredibly visually striking, more so than any other comic book movie I can think of (though Green Lantern will probably attempt to do something similar with its interstellar setting). New Mexico is a welcome departure from the standard "superhero + big city = millions in property damage" formula which most comic book movies seem to follow, and I'm sure Lady Liberty and the New York skyline are grateful for the brief respite from the never-ending cycle of cinematic destruction. (Seriously, New York can never catch a break.)

The cast is fantastic and surprisingly star-studded. Besides Natalie Portman and Anthony Hopkins, there are a number of smaller roles with big names attached: Idris Elba, as previously mentioned, commands the audience's attention every second he's onscreen. Seriously, that man has gravitas coming out the ass. Other familiar faces include Rene Russo as Frigga, Stellan Skarsgard as Jane Foster's mentor, and (to my great amusement) Ray "the Punisher" Stevenson as Volstagg the Voluminous. When I saw his name in the credits, I thought, "Oh, he must have been one of the frost giants because he's a big stony-faced badass." Nope. He was the one with the giant appetite and the great big bushy beard, and I loved every minute of it.

Sif and the Warriors Three were all great--they each had distinctive personalities but functioned well as a unit. Clark Gregg's recurring SHIELD Agent Phil Coulson was given more to do than usual, and I liked him more here than I did in Iron Man 1 or 2. Kat Dennings provided some great comic relief as Natalie Portman's assistant, and worked well as a foil to Skarsgard's more serious personality.

I hadn't heard of Chris Hemsworth before this, but he plays the title role perfectly. Even as a cocky, headstrong semi-jerk, his Thor has an undeniable charm, making it easy to see why Sif and the Warriors Three are so fiercely loyal to him. His chemistry with Natalie Portman is really fun to watch, what with his Asgardian bravado and her blushing, fangirlish awkwardness. It's clear that Thor is someone who's always genuine, whether in friendship or in anger--it's not that he's stupid as such (though he really is at times); it's just that he doesn't seem to have the capacity to be duplicitous.

Loki, on the other hand, is duplicitous to a fault--but he's arguably the most emotionally compelling character in the movie, and he reminds me a lot of Edmund from King Lear. (And apparently Tom Hiddleston has said the exact same thing.) Both are passed over as heirs in favor of their legitimate brothers (though Loki doesn't find out the secret of his parentage until after Thor is banished to Earth), and the two share a taste for deception and manipulation. Tom Hiddleston plays Loki as a complex character, someone who hides behind trickery to mask his resentment toward his father and brother. His confrontation with Odin is easily the best scene in the movie, and although you're never really sure how much of what Loki says is true, it's pretty clear that he really means it when he screams at his brother, "I only wanted to be your equal!"

Kenneth Branagh may seem like an odd choice to direct a comic book movie, but he's a perfect fit for this. While some other superhero films are tending toward darker and grittier subject matter, Branagh really gives Thor a mythological, larger-than-life feel (especially for the scenes in Asgard). Some of the CGI is less than perfect, but it hardly matters--I'll take solid characters and dialogue over James-Cameron-level visual masturbation any day of the week. Branagh makes the most of the pageantry and the Shakespearean undertones of the story, while still showing that he knows how to give us some pretty awesome fights.

Oh, and Jeremy Renner shows up as Hawkeye. He's snarktastic and I love it.

All I can say is, Thor is a great movie--and beyond that, it gives me serious hope that The Avengers will be everything I want it to be and more. Long story short, I'd go see it again (and in the theater, no less), if only to hear Thor say "I would have words with my brother" one more time.

It's totally worth it.