Hey, kids, it's the Eliot Spitzer Show!

First blog entries, as a rule, are terrible. They have this tendency to try too hard to be welcoming to their readers and explain what's going on, and then backtrack into self-deprecating "yeah but it's not like anyone will read this anyway" territory. (Spoiler alert: it's true.) The other possibility is that they won't actually acknowledge that no one is going to read their blog on a regular basis, instead choosing to live in a magical fantasy world where anyone gives a damn about their opinions.

Thankfully, CNN has been kind enough to give me fuel for my mockery engines, meaning that I have something to talk about other than "Oh hey... first post, y'all." They really couldn't have timed this more perfectly. All I can say is, someone at CNN is looking out for me - and by "is looking out for me" I really just mean "is a complete moron". But really, it all works out the same in the end.

The tagline for their newest political analysis show is "Never settle for one side of the story." The gimmick? One conservative host and one liberal host, discussing and debating issues on the air. The former is Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Kathleen Parker, and the latter is disgraced former New York State Attorney General and Governor and friend to prostitutes everywhere Eliot Spitzer.

Check it out!

...Really, CNN? I know he has a certain amount of notoriety in the political community, but it's NOT THE GOOD KIND. This is someone who spent $80K on prostitutes over a ten year period, and you're placing him on TV next to a Pulitzer winner. He's just a headset and a bitten tongue away from being the Sham-Wow guy, for God's sake.

But you know, maybe this will start a trend. Look for MSNBC's hot new show next month, which pits Rachel Maddow against Gov. Mark Sanford. Hell, I'd watch it.