Yeah, the title pretty much says it all. What with Thanksgiving vacation and the like, it would seem to be a perfect time to take a breather and update my favorite Internet Hate Machine. So much to mock, and a little more free time than usual.
Well, if you think that, you wouldn't be the first person to be tricked by the deceptive lure of Thanksgiving. It beckons to you, like a beautiful courtesan from the second-story window of a red-light district house of sin, and you've already tumbled into her welcoming arms before the haze of cheap liquor lifts from your eyes and you notice the bulge--oh God, the bulge--and BOOM. You're suddenly in a low-budget remake of The Crying Game, and you don't know whether to run for the hills or stay and at least get your money's worth, because hey, you've already paid her. Him. Whatever.
Ahem. Not that that's ever happened to me.
What was I talking about again?
Thanksgiving. Right. So anyway, everyone always thinks Thanksgiving will be a time to get some much-needed relaxation, but in the words of everyone's favorite anthropomorphic squid of high nautical rank (no, not Davy Jones, goddammit), IT'S A TRAP. It's a short vacation (assuming you get a vacation at all), and much of it is spent in transit to your ancestral family home. The rest of the time is spent with family and friends, eating and drinking and being merry (and/or plague-ridden, if you're me), and possibly doing dome Black Friday shopping if you're feeling suicidal. Then suddenly it's Sunday and you have no idea where all the time went, because you were planning to get work done and catch up on your sleep and you haven't done either one. And then you stumble outside and shake your fists at the grey, wintry sky and curse God, and he smites you for your insolence.
And that's how Thanksgiving will kill us all.
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