Cinema Snark: Final Thoughts on Black Swan

So, it occurred to me that there were a couple things missing from my last review--namely, any negative comments about the movie at all. Having recently seen it a second time, it has been refreshed in my mind, and there are a couple things I think should be said (not all of them negative). So, here goes:

As an opera singer, I certainly sympathize with ballet dancers. The two traditions are closely linked in the history of musical performance, and modern performers are faced with the problem of championing these art forms to a public which frequently views them as elitist or simply archaic. Let's be honest here: unless you are in the profession, directly associated with or related to someone who is, or a die-hard fan, you probably don't know much about ballet. God knows I don't, and I do feel rather guilty on occasion for not taking a greater interest in opera's sister art form--that is, when I'm not watching movies about ninjas or explosions or Christopher Walken.

In any case, I'm not particularly qualified to judge the caliber of the actual dancing done onscreen, because I know next to nothing about ballet. That being said, however, I know how snarky I usually get when opera is featured prominently in a movie ("This guy is supposed to be an amazing tenor and his voice-over is Juan Diego Florez? What a joke."), and would hazard a guess that many ballet aficionados feel similarly about Black Swan. It's a movie for the general public, for the uninitiated, and I'm sure those who are intimately acquainted with the art form would bristle/raise an eyebrow at several things in the movie. The things that got my raised-eyebrow-attention were few and far between, but I should probably mention them just to prove that this isn't actually a perfect movie:

- Vincent Cassel summarizing of the plot of Swan Lake to his company. It's very obviously for the audience's benefit, because Christ knows that all of those skinny bitches onscreen know the story inside and out. It's necessary information because it's relevant to the plot, but it feels a little clumsy because of the circumstances. It's kind of like Cassel turning to the camera and saying "HERE IS SOME EXPOSITION IT IS THEMATICALLY SIGNIFICANT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT"
- The arm-flapping. This is the one major thing I agree with the Washington Post article on: there's a lot of arm-flapping in the choreography, and it feels... not so balletic. Beyond that, I shan't comment on the dancing, due to my previously stated ignorance.
- The old man on the subway. It has no relevance to the rest of the movie, and it's just kinda weird. But hey, if I were an old rich guy alone in a subway car with Natalie Portman, I'd probably touch myself and make kissy-faces too. Oh, wait, no I wouldn't, because it's sketchy as fuck.

So, yeah. There actually were things about this movie that weren't completely perfect, but really... I can't complain. This could very well go up there with In Bruges as one of my favorite movies of all time. It's well-written, visually engaging, scary as hell, and full of symbolism and shit and the like.

What it isn't, on the other hand, is snooty. It may not be a movie for everyone (read: not for jackasses), but it's visceral and pretty easily approachable if you can handle the fear and the plot-related weirdness. But it's about ballet, so someone's bound to completely miss the point and treat this like it's esoteric and pretentious because COME ON ballet is so boring and only rich old people like it. Amirite?

Aaaaaand cue MovieBob. While I may not agree with all his reviews (Watchmen and Inception for movies I think he overrated, and the newest Star Trek for one he underrated), I tend to like him. He generally justifies his opinions, and is pretty open about his biases as a nostalgic, misanthropic nerdboy. His Black Swan review, however, places him squarely in the Realm of Douchebaggery. It's not about what he says, of course, but the way he says it. He gives the film a glowing review (and rightfully so), but decides that the proper way to go about reviewing this movie (because it's about high culture and all) is to put on a shitty British accent, play classical music in the background, and talk like he's some old rich patron of the arts. Oh, but of course he resumes his normal voice to talk about the lesbian sex and how hot it was.

Goddammit, things like this make me want to facepalm. People don't fucking understand that ballet and opera and classical music in general aren't the exclusive domain of obscenely wealthy geriatrics, mob bosses, and global networks of economic villainy. Those people may go to performances and throw their money around, but the performers themselves will dress up for gala receptions and fundraising parties before going home to their bare apartments and trying not to think about how hungry and cold they are. This is not a movie about audiences; it's a movie about dancers--and that gives you cattiness, backstabbing, backstage sexcapades, and a huge dose of insanity. And hell, the ballet is really a framing device for the real story, which is BITCHES ALL BE GOING CRAZY UP IN HERE.

But no. It's a movie about ballet, so it must be too cultured for us to treat it like any other movie.

Excuse me while I spout profanity for a while.